Hit List November 2003:
Three and a half minutes of commercial free music

by matthew webber

Britney Spears and Madonna - "Me Against the Music"

It's Britney versus the music, and the music is losing. Britney whispers, moans, and does everything but actually sing in her annually revised declaration of independence. She's not a girl, not yet a singer. This football chant of a dance tune ("Hey! Hey! Hey!") brings her one lesbian kiss closer to being a woman and one crappy single away from being the innocent schoolgirl we used to care about. She should spend less time "in the zone" and more time in the studio, voice lessons, and reality. She should take notes from her ex, Justin Timberlake, whose breakup with her inspired personal lyrics and genuine artistic collaboration instead of corny Madonna shout outs and collaborations with whichever producer was most convenient. Face it, America: She's not that talented.

Nelly and some other people - "Shake Ya Tailfeather"

Listen: It's the Atlanta Braves' Tomahawk Chop chant in the background! Frankly, I'd rather listen to the wave.

Trapt - "Headstrong"

I came this close to thinking this song rocks. There might be some real emotion attempting to release itself, but it's trapped by Trapt's expensive overproduction. Metal is supposed to sound heavy, not digital. The riff here sounds like a ring tone.

Evanescence - "Going Under"

I rarely agree with vampires on anything, but so far I adore this band. Amy Lee emotes like a banshee.

Justin Timberlake - "Senorita"

Justin should take a note from "Cry Me a River" and sing a song with meaning. Or else he should keep pitting the boys versus the girls in the battle of ridiculous calls and responses and cracking me up. For the boys, he slurs: "It feels like something's heating up. Can I leave with you?" For the girls, he squeals: "I don't know what I'm thinking 'bout, really leaving with you." As Justin himself once said, "Sometimes people destined, destined to do what they do," and Justin is destined to kill me!

{E-mail me your questions, comments, and suggestions at popculturejunkie@hotmail.com.}

Issue 17, November 2003